Get Over Yourselves, Youngsters: Old People Can Network Socially Too

Last week ComputerWorld.com published an article stating that Facebook is growing in popularity with older people (aka fogeys, old farts, blue-haired ladies, curmudgeons, geezers, and Larry King). From the article:

“…the number of 55-and-older Facebook users showed staggering growth — 513.7% — in the last six months…”

The article also mentioned that “people aged 45 to 54 are 36% more likely than their counterparts in any other age group to use the Twitter microblogging site” (as an aside, I love how the article refers to Twitter as “the Twitter microblogging site”–it’s kind of like calling Google “the Google search engine,” or, worse yet, calling Yahoo “the Google search engine”). Basically, older folks are jumping aboard the social networking bandwagon, creating profiles and figuring out this befuddling Internet thing one flashing gif at a time.

Naturally, us “hip young folks” are freaking the frak out and reacting accordingly:

The iStrategyLabs report notes that students are apparently fleeing Facebook. The report shows that Facebook has 16.5% fewer high school students and 21.7% fewer college students than it did six months ago.

“There have been rumors that these younger user groups are being alienated by their parents joining the service, and this data seems to prove it,” said iStrategyLabs CEO Peter Corbett in a blog post.

It’s essentially the Internet equivalent to taking your ball and going home. I’ve compiled a handy graph to further illustrate the point:

That McKinley assassination was a real humdinger

That’ll teach them! Way to jump ship from a popular, widely adopted and exceptionally convenient social networking site because it’s uncool that your parents have accounts! You’re so hip that the entire realm of the Internet isn’t big enough for your coolness and your parents’ embarrassing stories about all the times you peed yourself when you were a toddler.

I know it’s a pretty kneejerk reaction to groan and whine about how crappy it is that your Aunt Gertie friended you on Facebook and is following you on Twitter, but let me break a few things down for you:

1. You’re not as cool as you think you are. Let’s face it, your profile is probably as run of the mill as everyone else’s, so it’s not like you’re going to give Uncle Morty a heart attack when he sees that you’ve thrown a sheep at someone or become a level 15 mafia vampire werewolf.
2. Your parents aren’t the only ones who can see your “scandalous” content. People seem to think that only their 472 closest friends can see that your interests are “chuggin beers and gettin laid” and your photos of yourself passed out drunk on a frat house floor sans one eyebrow. News flash: there’s this whole thing called the Internet, and when you put something on it, chances are someone will find it–such as potential employers, clients, and prospective significant others. If you’re worried about your family seeing something that they might disapprove of or that a picture may not exactly portray you in a positive manner, don’t put it online.
3. Not all old people are techtarded dinosaurs. Sure, maybe your grandparents are happily rocking a shared AOL email account and insist on calling you to provide directions to a place you can easily map online or with your phone, but not everyone that you consider to be geriatric is an Internet noob. For example, did you know that Mark Cuban, web billionaire, popular blogger and owner of the Dallas Mavericks, is going to turn *gasp* 51 years old later this month? Stephen Colbert is 45, and he seems to have a handle on this whole web thing too. I know a lot of great social media marketers who are twice my age, and they’re smarter and have a better knowledge of social networking than some punk ass 19 year old who creates Jonas Brothers fan pages.
4. You’re not getting any younger. Ah, the most important lesson of all. You may be on top of the world today with your knowledge of Andy Samberg viral videos and your skinny leg jeans, but just remember that in a few short years you’ll wonder why all the youngsters are so obsessed with [insert High School Musical equivalent here] and why anyone in their right mind would shell out money to see [insert horrible Twilight equivalent here]. And a few years after that, you’ll be the ones the kids are crinkling their noses at and whining to stay out of their websites. How quickly the tides change.

There you have it, you young whippersnappers. Give the geezers a break and let them have a little fun, okay? If you’re still all up in arms about having your parents “spy” on your Facebook profile, you can organize your contacts into certain groups and give some people limited access to your profile (see this post and this one for more information).

Other than that, grow a pair of balls and don’t be afraid to let your profiles reflect who you are and allow your family to see them. Let’s face it, unless you’re planning on building a Logan’s Run-type networking site that automatically deletes people’s accounts and bans them once they turn 30, you’re stuck with older people infringing upon your turf so you might as well embrace them and make the best of it. Who knows, maybe you’ll be able to score some Werther’s Originals and a couple of free early bird dinners out of the ordeal.

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