This morning I tweeted this question to 10e20′s followers:

A few responses started to trickle in, and most of them followed the same train of thought:

  • ChrisBennett: “When you self proclaim that you are a ‘social media expert’”
  • Amabaie: “A social media d-bag is someone who asks more than he gives. The rest is just details.”
  • LoriBourne: “Only promote yourself and no one else; call yourself a social media “expert”; promote yourself anonymously & hope no one notices”
  • Audette: “those hateful auto DMs that try to sell you something. FAIL”
  • KennyHyder: “when you ask me to be a fan of your lame ass fb fan page just because we’re friends; people that straight up ask me to follow them on twitter”

I’m sensing a bit of a pattern here. It appears that many folks’ definition of a social media d-bag is someone who is too self-promotional. Social media marketing can be a slippery slope; after all, the main point of marketing is to promote yourself or your services. However, once you throw that whole “social” element into the mix, what was once “me me me” has now evolved into “me + you + everyone we know.”

Think about a party you’ve gone to. Everyone’s been in a social situation where they’ve experienced the self-absorbed person or the one-upper. They can’t wait for you to finish your story so they can immediately best it with a “better” one involving them, or they don’t bother asking you how things have been and would instead prefer to drone on about every minute detail of their lives. These types of people are really the hit of the party, aren’t they? You sneak an eye roll to your buddy and wait until the end of the night so you can complain about “that jerk who wouldn’t stop bragging about himself.” Nobody wants to be that guy in real life among a group of twenty or so people, so why would you online across a network of millions?

Constantly tooting your own horn can be detrimental to your business. Even if you’re actually a hard worker and knowledgeable in your field, you can turn off a lot of people who may think the following:

  • You’re selfish (and possibly untrustworthy). Who wants to do business with someone who only thinks about himself? How is this person going to help you if he seems to be lacking in the generosity department? Are you always going to have a hidden agenda? Will you only help someone out for personal gain?
  • You’re narrow-minded. If you only share content you’ve produced or spread your own advice, people might get the impression that you might not be open-minded enough to consider other points of view or share third party information.
  • You’re a possible spammer. Nothing smells spammier than self-serving comments and links that always point back to your website.

Even if the above assumptions aren’t true, a lot of people may think otherwise. Take a look at how you portray yourself socially and see if you can potentially scale back the promotional stuff. Look at the following:

  • Your blog. Are you always blogging about your company or your products? Try introducing some non-company related information, such as interesting industry news you’ve heard or some general tips that your readers will find helpful.
  • Your tweets. Always tweeting links to your products or services? Never responding to people who tweet at you? Mix up your tweeting style — throw in tweets to your followers, responses, general chitchat and observations, interesting links you’ve come across (that aren’t from your site), etc.
  • Your comments. If you’re commenting on someone else’s blog, make the remarks relevant to the post and don’t drop a link to a specific page or blog post on your site unless it’s absolutely relevant.
  • Your Facebook profile. Even if you have a fan page, mix up the wall posts once in a while. Show appreciation to your fans by giving them some acknowledgment. Share some cool tips, poll them for their opinion/input, post some pictures and videos, share industry news and information, etc.

You don’t have to be afraid to promote yourself and your business, just be mindful of how often you’re bombarding your followers and peers with self-serving information. If you mix in a healthy array of information along with the self-promotions, your promotions may end up being more beneficial because they’ll stand out more and seem more important and genuine.

Do you have any other tips on how to be self-promotional without being repetitive, selfish or pushy? Share your examples and suggestions in the comments!